May 31st 1981
A CHRISTIAN'S LAMENT
A WAY OF SEEING LIFE IN THE LAMB OF GOD COMMUNITY
"For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven; in as much as we, having put it on, shall not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed, but to be clothed, in order that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life"...
"The body of my son is broken." Ralph Martin, 1977 CCRCC
It seems to me that the preimminant question in Christiandom should be: is it God, or is it man, who is stretching canvas more and more tightly over the Church, in order to provide a secure covering and tent over her? As Christians, it is always our hope that we are following God and God alone: as David centered on God's presence in the Arc of The Covenant. But David did not build. Are we, as David would have, building prematurely?
To have a heart as the heart of God formed in David: broken, open, stretched before God, open to change--would keep us true to God and His ways. David saw things as God saw things. So much of David was in God, and so much of God was in David, that Jesus revealed to us: "I am the root and offspring of David". But David did not build.
Events and history can give us hints and a sense as to whether or not we have lifted our hands to expedite and anchor the movements of God. In the moment only God knows. But these tents and buildings become and remain as empty shells, as we insinuate our hands into God's work. Only God can judge our hearts as we build, forming them into such as David's. For any movement of God, it takes God to answer questions about them: have they crystalized, or are they vital? All I know is that God has entrusted His spirit to live and move and have His being in each Christian's life. He lives in us.
As a Christian, and as a person, it is my hope to communicate a part of my story to you. True and full communication would take something of the movement of the Spirit of God in the context of a personal dialogue: face to face, from the heart--in respect and love. I'm not saying I know the way. I haven't any corner on truth. I do percieve a gap in our ways of seeing, thus this writing. My intent is not to change your ways to my ways; rather, it is to affirm my Christian life, and the lives of my brothers and sisters, that are not joined to The Lamb of God. It is quite a different perspective. Here, then, is my story...
The sun was setting over 'Five Farms' and the evening was beginning to become pleasantly cool and envigorating for me. I've always loved the natural beauty of the old Jennifer Estate. And on this particular Sunday evening the dew on the fields pleasantly began to moisten my feet as I walked. Envigorating! My feet and flip-flops began to pick up, and be covered with, a proliferation of seeds and grasses. Winter to Spring, Death to Life--and alive again!
The beauty only which God could create, interweave, and sustain in this fallen world. Hope of the eternal! The setting sun, the birds of the air, the beauty of the moment: they all beckon me to thank God and enjoy the gift of this beauty and tranquility. And, even more than all these, to thank him for the person he has formed me to be. I wanted to do these things--to continue to rest in the peace within and without, but this was not why I had come to walk...
So many memories--so long ago. It seems that these days have been set aside to consider my past life and experiences in the Lamb of God. But the more I tried to remember, the further away my former life there seemed. How come? I mean, all the physical clues are here. I seem to need to go back and recapture something. Something I left back there when my life with God seemed shattered, and I couldn't find all the pieces...
Why can't I enter into remembering--and wondering why? I've had times when all the joys and sorrows of those days seemed to implode within my heart, and I could feel the texture of my life then. Nevr times this distant. Going back now seems impossible to me. How come? Seems a bit clearer now...I really can't go back. It's impossible. It's just that I'm not the same person I was when I was joined to the Lamb of God. In fact, to a great extent, I wasn't even a person then. And now I am.
Well, Daphne still remembers me anyway. Funny how she even seems to know how to say goodbye, just before you get in the car. At least something, besides the land, has continuity: is personal and somewhat the same. I used to wander and sleep in these fields with Daphne, and my own confusion, four years ago...
Knowing I'll never figure it all out, I sat on an old wall just behind the main house. Sitting down beats trying to tackle the impossible. Yeah, I remember the main house: center of importance and activity. Had some mistique or something. Well, I've been mentally and physically meandering for fifty minutes and nothing of what I thought would occur has come to be. My hour is shot. Just like God and his timing. In my life, I've come to expect such 'waste'.
I so wanted to touch the person I was then. I can remember becoming a Christian and my early days in the faith in South Carolina. Good memories, even treasures, of those brothers and sisters and my beginning with God. Why is there a shroud over my days in the Lamb of God? The days I thought would bring me into full body life and His Coming Kingdom...
Sometimes it seems such a waste to try to be with God. No use, just be--enjoy the moment. As I began to 'focus in', I started to 'get into' the hedges planted behind the main house. They seem to remind me of something else.Hedges, all in rows: rooted and intertwined together. They line up to subdivide and section off the backyard. They bring 'order' to the organic 'chaos' of life. The person who landscaped this area did so according to his own vision, judgement, and abilities. Through this particular pattern of hedges he was to give, to all that would enter his yard, what he saw necessary to himself. The hedges expressed his life and desires--were extended to others--but, constrained them to walk according to his vision.
A WAY OF SEEING LIFE IN THE LAMB OF GOD COMMUNITY
"For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven; in as much as we, having put it on, shall not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed, but to be clothed, in order that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life"...
"The body of my son is broken." Ralph Martin, 1977 CCRCC
It seems to me that the preimminant question in Christiandom should be: is it God, or is it man, who is stretching canvas more and more tightly over the Church, in order to provide a secure covering and tent over her? As Christians, it is always our hope that we are following God and God alone: as David centered on God's presence in the Arc of The Covenant. But David did not build. Are we, as David would have, building prematurely?
To have a heart as the heart of God formed in David: broken, open, stretched before God, open to change--would keep us true to God and His ways. David saw things as God saw things. So much of David was in God, and so much of God was in David, that Jesus revealed to us: "I am the root and offspring of David". But David did not build.
Events and history can give us hints and a sense as to whether or not we have lifted our hands to expedite and anchor the movements of God. In the moment only God knows. But these tents and buildings become and remain as empty shells, as we insinuate our hands into God's work. Only God can judge our hearts as we build, forming them into such as David's. For any movement of God, it takes God to answer questions about them: have they crystalized, or are they vital? All I know is that God has entrusted His spirit to live and move and have His being in each Christian's life. He lives in us.
As a Christian, and as a person, it is my hope to communicate a part of my story to you. True and full communication would take something of the movement of the Spirit of God in the context of a personal dialogue: face to face, from the heart--in respect and love. I'm not saying I know the way. I haven't any corner on truth. I do percieve a gap in our ways of seeing, thus this writing. My intent is not to change your ways to my ways; rather, it is to affirm my Christian life, and the lives of my brothers and sisters, that are not joined to The Lamb of God. It is quite a different perspective. Here, then, is my story...
The sun was setting over 'Five Farms' and the evening was beginning to become pleasantly cool and envigorating for me. I've always loved the natural beauty of the old Jennifer Estate. And on this particular Sunday evening the dew on the fields pleasantly began to moisten my feet as I walked. Envigorating! My feet and flip-flops began to pick up, and be covered with, a proliferation of seeds and grasses. Winter to Spring, Death to Life--and alive again!
The beauty only which God could create, interweave, and sustain in this fallen world. Hope of the eternal! The setting sun, the birds of the air, the beauty of the moment: they all beckon me to thank God and enjoy the gift of this beauty and tranquility. And, even more than all these, to thank him for the person he has formed me to be. I wanted to do these things--to continue to rest in the peace within and without, but this was not why I had come to walk...
So many memories--so long ago. It seems that these days have been set aside to consider my past life and experiences in the Lamb of God. But the more I tried to remember, the further away my former life there seemed. How come? I mean, all the physical clues are here. I seem to need to go back and recapture something. Something I left back there when my life with God seemed shattered, and I couldn't find all the pieces...
Why can't I enter into remembering--and wondering why? I've had times when all the joys and sorrows of those days seemed to implode within my heart, and I could feel the texture of my life then. Nevr times this distant. Going back now seems impossible to me. How come? Seems a bit clearer now...I really can't go back. It's impossible. It's just that I'm not the same person I was when I was joined to the Lamb of God. In fact, to a great extent, I wasn't even a person then. And now I am.
Well, Daphne still remembers me anyway. Funny how she even seems to know how to say goodbye, just before you get in the car. At least something, besides the land, has continuity: is personal and somewhat the same. I used to wander and sleep in these fields with Daphne, and my own confusion, four years ago...
Knowing I'll never figure it all out, I sat on an old wall just behind the main house. Sitting down beats trying to tackle the impossible. Yeah, I remember the main house: center of importance and activity. Had some mistique or something. Well, I've been mentally and physically meandering for fifty minutes and nothing of what I thought would occur has come to be. My hour is shot. Just like God and his timing. In my life, I've come to expect such 'waste'.
I so wanted to touch the person I was then. I can remember becoming a Christian and my early days in the faith in South Carolina. Good memories, even treasures, of those brothers and sisters and my beginning with God. Why is there a shroud over my days in the Lamb of God? The days I thought would bring me into full body life and His Coming Kingdom...
Sometimes it seems such a waste to try to be with God. No use, just be--enjoy the moment. As I began to 'focus in', I started to 'get into' the hedges planted behind the main house. They seem to remind me of something else.Hedges, all in rows: rooted and intertwined together. They line up to subdivide and section off the backyard. They bring 'order' to the organic 'chaos' of life. The person who landscaped this area did so according to his own vision, judgement, and abilities. Through this particular pattern of hedges he was to give, to all that would enter his yard, what he saw necessary to himself. The hedges expressed his life and desires--were extended to others--but, constrained them to walk according to his vision.
Ought's, should do's, don't, if--then's. That's what these hedges are! The hedges line up pretty straight--and serve as external modifers, channels for movement. They sure serve a purpose. Trouble is what they do to people.
You see, I can envision the ...hedges subsuming the people that walk too closely to them. So often in an attempt to do the right thing, we try so very hard to do things right. The law brings death. The landscaper may even be unaware, as he begins to trim the hedges...
Headship/Submission/
Looking down into the hedge, I can also envision the roots. Roots of covenant and commitment. From these things, the same pattern continues. Dear God, what are these roots doing here? There's no branch coming up from them. Oh God, these people have been cut off completely! Severed at the root. Does the landscapper know what he has done?
I wonder what would happen if the owner showed up one day and said: "Oaks, not hedges. It's oaks I'm after." Will the landscapper be able to hear? What would he then tell the hedges: those cut and bruised, and those cut off? I sure wouldn't want to be in his shoes, the landscapper's, that is.
You see, I can envision the ...hedges subsuming the people that walk too closely to them. So often in an attempt to do the right thing, we try so very hard to do things right. The law brings death. The landscaper may even be unaware, as he begins to trim the hedges...
Headship/Submission/
Looking down into the hedge, I can also envision the roots. Roots of covenant and commitment. From these things, the same pattern continues. Dear God, what are these roots doing here? There's no branch coming up from them. Oh God, these people have been cut off completely! Severed at the root. Does the landscapper know what he has done?
I wonder what would happen if the owner showed up one day and said: "Oaks, not hedges. It's oaks I'm after." Will the landscapper be able to hear? What would he then tell the hedges: those cut and bruised, and those cut off? I sure wouldn't want to be in his shoes, the landscapper's, that is.
The cross of Christ Jesus Our Lord is the only instrument God has given to us to cut things at their root. But we've been using hedgeclippers. The cross calls for a loss to be suffered, in order that we may lay hold of the greater gain. The loss of the hedgerows would be a loss to the hands that enjoy trimming them, but God needs oaks.
In fact, I can imagine oaks having a better time of getting along with each other, than hedges. If the owner shows up, the landscappers won't have a chance. We'll all be on equal ground. The cross seems to cut us all at the root. No more will the Gospel be added onto, or subtracted from. No more will people be added onto, or subtracted from.
David was cut at the root and became a full orbed man of God. Many of the hedg...es that have been cut off have not experienced the cross, but have experienced hedgeclippers. They left not because they were not spiritual enough, but because they could not become less of a person than God intended them to be. It takes the cross, not hedgeclippers, to get into interior realities. The most special of these interior realities is to accept yourself--to love yourself. even though an imperfect sinner. That's the key to the Kingdom of God. Those landscappers have ripped some people right apart. Wonder what God thinks about that?
You know, the Lamb of God is the sanest, and most insane, place I've ever been. Living together and sharing God's life within us is wonderful. It cleans me out and makes me whole. In this sense, you are joined to me through Christ: you are my brothers and sisters. All Christians have this birthright, God working His life through us organically.
This is, I believe, your preeminent reality and life. I know, for I've shared my life with some of you and love you dearly. But, to some extent, our lives are shrouded from each others...
It seems as if there is an exoskeletal attachment to the Body of Christ in the Lamb of God. The landscappers who try to expedite and firm up the life within us. Providing submission-authority-covenant-
The reality of the Body of Christ, and the insanity of the 'landscappers', are juxtapositioned together. It's hard to see ehere one ends and the other begins. It takes God to 'run that thin white line'. Not to be able to see, to focus, to make distinction and sense; breeds insanity. People have attitudes towards the Lamb of God because they can't see this. Two distinct realities clash in their hearts, and they can't see. All they see are the dead bodies.
I wonder how God feels about all this?
David was cut at the root and became a full orbed man of God. Many of the hedg...es that have been cut off have not experienced the cross, but have experienced hedgeclippers. They left not because they were not spiritual enough, but because they could not become less of a person than God intended them to be. It takes the cross, not hedgeclippers, to get into interior realities. The most special of these interior realities is to accept yourself--to love yourself. even though an imperfect sinner. That's the key to the Kingdom of God. Those landscappers have ripped some people right apart. Wonder what God thinks about that?
You know, the Lamb of God is the sanest, and most insane, place I've ever been. Living together and sharing God's life within us is wonderful. It cleans me out and makes me whole. In this sense, you are joined to me through Christ: you are my brothers and sisters. All Christians have this birthright, God working His life through us organically.
This is, I believe, your preeminent reality and life. I know, for I've shared my life with some of you and love you dearly. But, to some extent, our lives are shrouded from each others...
It seems as if there is an exoskeletal attachment to the Body of Christ in the Lamb of God. The landscappers who try to expedite and firm up the life within us. Providing submission-authority-covenant-
The reality of the Body of Christ, and the insanity of the 'landscappers', are juxtapositioned together. It's hard to see ehere one ends and the other begins. It takes God to 'run that thin white line'. Not to be able to see, to focus, to make distinction and sense; breeds insanity. People have attitudes towards the Lamb of God because they can't see this. Two distinct realities clash in their hearts, and they can't see. All they see are the dead bodies.
I wonder how God feels about all this?
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