~~~~~Walking Through This World~~~~~

So the ego looks for what it can possess
and That Which Is
just beneath that facade
looks for what it can give

living outside in
or
inside out

Life comes in many stages
and it seems every decade has a new
sobering outlook
on what is our impermanent life
here walking through this world
actually is

Jung said we spend the first half of life
building our ego
finding our place
in this world
and the second half of life
letting it go

living outside in
or
inside out

and so we live in thought
measurement and comparison
judgement
until that Life Within Us All
begins to break through
and by compassion we see
each one of us
had the same journey

pictured above
Jiddu Krishnamurti was lacing up his walking shoes
getting ready to take a walk
from his home Pine Cottage
through the Ojai Valley

and we all take our own walks
where do you go?
while the body is still strong?

and where do we go
when it no longer is?

living outside in
or
inside out

no matter who you are
this world is impermanent
you are impermanent
and so why is what the ego thinks it accomplishes
of any value at all?

the rarest of the things of Life
are no things

stillness
silence
kindness
compassion

all born of emptiness
consciousness born not of the ego
untouched and unapproachable
by thought

living inside out
or
outside in

awakened
scents of sanity
timeless
home

beyond the temporal dreams
of the dream ego
in this dreamworld
we all pass through
and awake from

was life inside us
all along?

when we were looking
outside?

~~~~~~~Walking In The Spirit~~~~~~~

 

 

The man of Tao acts without impediment,
He harms no other being by his actions,
Yet he does not know himself
to be kind and gentle.

He does not struggle to make money...
And he does not make a virtue of poverty.

He goes without relying on others,
And does not pride himself
on walking alone.

The man of Tao remains unknown.
Perfect virtue produces nothing.
No Self is True Self.
And the greatest man is nobody.

 Chuang Tzu

~~~Living In This World of Magical Thinking & Maya~~~

 

   Conflict exists between various desires, not between light and darkness. There can never be struggle between light and darkness for where there is light, darkness is not, where there is truth the false is not. When the self divides itself into the higher and the lower, this very contradiction begets conflict, confusion, and antagonism. To be aware of what is and not escape into fanciful illusion is the beginning of understanding. We should be concerned with what is, the craving for self-expansion, and not try to transform it, for the transformer is still craving, which is the action of the self; the very awareness of what is brings about understanding. To be aware from moment to moment brings its own clarification. The desire for achievement and recognition prevents awakening; the sleeper dreams that he must awaken and struggles in his dream, but it is only a dream. The sleeper cannot awaken through dreams; he must cease sleeping. Thought itself must be aware of creating the structure of the self and its perpetuation. One who is earnest must discover for himself the truth about self-perpetuation.  Jiddu Krishnamurti, Ojai, California | Third Talk in The Oak Grove, 1946

   So the battle between good & evil is an illusion? That all comparisons of one with another have no merit whatsoever? That all desire for the self to expand it's horizons to envelope things as they actually are just an impossible dream? That all the drama thought creates has no meaning? That the fullness of life is there when you are not? What does this imply about our individuality? Our selves? Our personalities? Do they continue on into the next life? Or are they just parts we played in this current lifetime on Earth?

    Is there anything really to lose?

 

   Ramakrishna said he was just the dust on his servant's servant's shoes.

   The ego can't even take credit for the act of  abandonment.

   Robert Adams put it this way: The knower is the last to go.

   Is there nothing you can do?
 

   Or as Sri Ramana Maharshi put it: "I am" alone is; and not "I am so and so", or "I am such and such". When existence is absolute it is right; when it is particularised it is wrong. That is the whole truth.
 

   You just can't dream your way out of a dream.
  "There is no use in trying." Bob Dylan

   Does the ego have any value at all?

    I've lived most of my life in images & illusions & dreams. My childhood. My days as a religious fundamentalist. My time as uncle plaything to my brother's children. It's the...magical thinking...of the individual who believes in...the innocence...of the worlds that thought creates....weaving it's dreamworlds....over a lifetime...that last...like bubbles...only for for awhile.

    Eventually we all wake up. The fact that we do has no dependence upon the individual and his or her capacities, it's just that the dream is not reality, and that reality comes upon us all like the dawn. And when you see that you've been asleep? Dreaming? The creator of your own illusions? You also see everyone else is dreaming their own dreams.

    Why else would a world of maya exist except to dream?
    So creating a place where illusions can exist for awhile?
    But why do we dream?

   Is it that we could stay awake no longer?

   

~~~Who Can Lead Us Out Of This Mess We're In?~~~

  

 

   Society is not changed by example. Society may reform itself, it may bring about certain changes through political or economic revolution, but only the religious man can create a fundamental transformation in society; and the religious man is not he who practices starvation as an example to impress society. The religious man is not concerned with society at all, because society is based on acquisitiveness, envy, greed, ambition, fear. That is, mere reformation of the pattern of society only alters the surface, it brings about a more respectable form of ambition. Whereas, the truly religious man is totally outside of society, because he is not ambitious, he has no envy, he is not following any ritual, dogma or belief; and it is only such a man who can fundamentally transform society, not the reformer. The man who sets out to be an example merely breeds conflict, strengthens fear, and brings about various forms of tyranny.
   It is very strange how we worship examples, idols. We don't want that which is pure, true in itself; we want interpreters, examples, masters, gurus, as a medium through which to attain something - which is all sheer nonsense, and is used to exploit people. If each one of us could think clearly from the very beginning, or re-educate ourselves to think clearly, then all these examples, masters, gurus, systems, would be absolutely unnecessary, which they are anyhow.

         
   Madras, India | 2nd Public Talk 15th January 1956

~~~~~The Observer Is The Observed~~~~~

One image, as the observer, observes dozens of other images around himself and inside himself, and he says, 'I like this image, I'm going to keep it' or 'I don't like that image so I'll get rid of it', but the observer himself has been put together by the various images which have come into being through reaction to various other images. So we come to a point where we can say, 'The observer is also the image, only he has separated himself and observes.' This observer who has come into being through various other images thinks himself permanent and between himself and the images he has created there is a division, a time interval. This creates conflict between himself and the images he believes to be the cause of his troubles. So then he says, "I must get rid of this conflict", but the very desire to get rid of the conflict creates another image.
Awareness of all this, which is real meditation, has revealed that there is a central image put together by all the other images, and the central image, the observer, is the censor, the experiencer, the evaluator, the judge who wants to conquer or subjugate the other images or destroy them altogether. The other images are the result of judgements, opinions and conclusions by the observer, and the observer is the result of all the other images - therefore the observer is the observed. Commentaries On Living II, Chapter 50

Two women came down the path carrying firewood on their heads. One was old and the other quite young, and the burdens they carried looked rather heavy. Each had balanced on her head, protected by a roll of cloth, a long bundle of dried branches tied together with a green vine, and she held it in place with one hand. Their bodies swung freely as they came down the hill with a light, running gait. They had nothing on their feet, though the path was rough. The feet seemed to find their own way, for the women never looked down; they held their heads very straight, their eyes bloodshot and distant. They were very thin, their ribs showing, and the older woman's hair was matted and unwashed. The girl's hair must have been combed and oiled at one time, for there were still some clean, sparkling strands; but she too was exhausted, and there was a weariness about her. Not long ago she must have sung and played with other children but that was all over. Now, collecting wood among these hills was her life, and would be till she died, with a respite now and then with the coming of a child.
Down the path we all went. The small country town was several miles away, and there they would sell their burden for a pittance, only to begin again tomorrow. They were chatting, with long intervals of silence. Suddenly the younger one told her mother she was hungry, and the mother replied that they were born with hunger, lived with hunger, and died with hunger; that was their lot. It was the statement of a fact; in her voice there was no reproach, no anger, no hope. We continued down that stony path. There was no observer listening, pitying, and walking behind them. He was not part of them out of love and pity; he was them. They were not the strangers he had met up the hill, they were of him; his were the hands that held the bundles; and the sweat, the exhaustion the smell, the hunger, were not theirs, to be shared and sorrowed over. Time and space had ceased. There were no thoughts in our heads, too tired to think; and if we did think, it was to sell the wood, eat, rest, and begin again. The feet on the stony path never hurt, nor the sun overhead. There were only two of us going down that accustomed hill, past that well where we drank as usual, and on across the dry bed of a remembered stream.  Commentaries On Living, Chapter 44

The Desire To Be Aware Is The Only Activity Of The Sleeper, The Dreamer........

   Awareness is from moment to moment, it is not the cumulative effect of self-protective memories. Awareness is not determination nor is it the action of will. Awareness is the complete and unconditional surrender to what is, without rationalization, without the division of the observer and the observed. As awareness is non-accumulative, non-residual, it does not build up the self, positively or negatively. Awareness is ever in the present and so, non-identifying and non-repetitive; nor does it create habit.
   Be aware; there is a fundamental difference between being and becoming. To become aware you make effort and effort implies resistance and time, and leads to conflict. If you are aware in the moment there is no effort, no continuance of the self-protective intelligence. You are aware or you are not; the desire to be aware is only the activity of the sleeper, the dreamer. Awareness reveals the problem completely, fully, without denial or acceptance, justification or identification, and it is freedom which quickens understanding. Awareness is a unitary process of the observer and the observed.
   Krishnamurti Ojai, California | 4th Public Talk 1946

   Most of you are faced by some kind of crisis, with regard to money, or people, or love, or death; and when you are caught up in such a crisis you have to choose, to decide. How do you decide? Your decision springs from fear, want, sensation. So you are merely postponing; you are choosing what is convenient, what is pleasant, and therefore you are merely creating another shadow through which you have to pass. Only when you feel the absurdity of your present existence, feel it not just intellectually, but with your whole heart and mind - when you really feel the absurdity of this continual choice - then out of that awareness is born discernment. Then you do not choose: you act. It is easy to give examples, but I shall give none, for they are often confusing.
   So to me, awareness does not result from the struggle to be aware; it comes of its own accord when you are conscious with your whole being, when you realize the futility of choice. At present you choose between two things, two courses of action; you make a choice between this and that; one you understand, the other you do not. With the result of such choice, you hope to fill your life. You act according to your wants, your desires. Naturally, when that desire is fulfilled, action has come to an end. Then, since you are still lonely, you look for another action, another fulfillment. Each one of you is faced with a duality in action, a choice between doing this or that; but when you are aware of the futility of choice, when you are aware with your whole being, without effort, then you will truly discern.
   You can test this only when you are really in a crisis; you cannot test it intellectually, when sitting at your ease and imagining a mental conflict. You can learn its truth only when you are face to face with an insistent demand for choice, when you have to make a decision, when your whole being demands action. If in that moment you realize with your whole being, if in that moment you are aware of the futility of choice, then out of that comes the flower of intuition, the flower of discernment. Action born of that is infinite; then action is life itself. Then there is no division between action and actor; all is continuous. There is no temporary fulfillment which is soon over.
   Krishnamurti Alpino, Italy | 2nd Public Talk, 4th July, 1933

~~~~~~~~A Sower Went Out To Sow~~~~~~~~

   There are only two disappointments in this life: the first is when you don't get what you want, and the second is when you do.

   How can I live a life of fulfillment, when the most important thing that exists in all of creation, the creator.....seems....abscent? Looking for life in the things of this world, in their pleasures, always trapped in the realm of beginnings and endings? Sex? Power? Position? Knowledge? Always seeking the timeless in the dreamworld of time? Lost in illusions? Wandering through impermanence? I explored what society, mankind, had to offer. Limited by my conditioning, I had not the eyes to see.

   When you try, and fail, it's like Dylan's lyrics in Love Minus Zero/No Limit: "There's no success like failure and failure's no success at all." Negation, it's the way I navigated through the illusions of this life, on my spiritual pilgrimage, and every path that I took in the end reached a dead end. Failure? Negation? Dead Ends?  What good could spring from such a meandering life?

   Questions. I started asking God questions. Not with my head, full of images, but with my broken heart, and these questions were the seeds that a sower went out to sow. Honest questions born within personal brokeness. Genuine questions, holding out no hope of becoming anything at all. Questions that abandoned all paths, even myself, and most of these questions were a simple one.....why?

   Seeds in fertile ground, watered by the spiritual rains, nurtured by timeless love, the answers to my questions were born in their due season. Never as I expected, always new, of their own accord, and nature. And what fruit was born of all this? Only, trust in the life that sustains me, like a little child, and thankfulness, for all that I have been given.

  It's an impermanent, and violent, dreamworld we live in. All stocked up with maya. Born into it, the darkness of the abstract image. the sterility of thought, we are blind to the timeless. Born into Plato's Cave, we enter a realm where God seems to play Hide and Seek, and we have not the ability to find our way out, or our way home.

  Cosmic Consciousness? Enlightenment? Spiritual Ambition? How can you say you've become somebody when in the end you're not there?  When you see that everything's alive? That you are That? That the knower, the seeker, was always an illusion, and that God was hiding in the place we never expected God to be....inside us all....inside of everything?

  A sower went out to sow, we all ask the same questions and the difference in our answers springs from their source, as the life that asks them, also answers them.

   Thou Art That. 

~~~~~You Are The World~~~~~

Kinfonet Quote of the Day: If you perceive and live completely in the very thing that you are experiencing, then this idea of change from the unessential to the essential disappears

~~~~~~Becoming Somebody~~~~~~~

  The Horror~~~The Horror~~~~The Horror. Isn't it a damn shame that when you're young and have all that good energy you have to consider becoming somebody~~~measuring yourself with all the rest~~~psychically wrestling with all comparison and envy~~~anxiety and never knowing~~~exactly where you're headed~~~and where it's all gonna end~~~or~~~as Krishnamurti put it~~~in choice there is no freedom. So we follow the artists and listen to the music of our generation~~~and watch a lot of medias and TV~~~taking in society's cues~~~as to how one should be~~~becoming lost~~~in our own conditioning~~~trying to grow our psychic roots into the truth of what is~~~and longing for a world view~~~that is true and real and fulfilling. Psychological becoming is a bitch~~~it robs you of~~~just being~~~who you are~~~and besides that~~~it really doesn't exist~~~it's an illusion~~~Maya~~~just the measure of  insanity needed to make things seem what they are not~~~and isn't that~~~the nature of this world in which we live? We're all fragile human beings~~~all with a wide range of capacities~~~and if you make it to The Today Show and Willard Scott features your longevity on national TV~~~don't worry~~~he won't ask you if you became somebody~~~he'll just wanna know what it is that you do everyday~~~or~~~what is it that you still like to do. So~~~Be Who You Are~~~don't waste your energy on trying to become something different~~~life is for living~~~not accumulation~~~'cause you can't take anything at all~~with you. There is no such a thing as a comfortable life~~~and there is no psychological security~~~for~~~Impermanence~~~does not allow for such things to exist~~~in this world~~~of ours.

~~~~~~~Like A Rolling Stone~~~~~~~

Our Earth is just another Emergency Spiritual Rehabilitation Clinic

I hope that you are aware of the fact that we physically live within a very low~~and  impermanent plane~~~of existence~~~where there is always need and a stomach to feed~~~and tremendous violence~~~of all sorts. I'm not sure if we did something bad to be here~~~or~~~through the brokenness that this life leads us to~~~we then spiritually learn empathy and compassion~~~for all living things. It's for sure that management has it set up that we can't take anything with us~~~when we leave~~~and the most important thing of all~~~The Creator~~~is not obvious and seems completely hidden~~~or~~~not to exist at all. One thing about rehab~~~only those that know they're sick have a chance to get well~~~just as~~~ the ones that know they're crazy~~~are the only sane ones. And so we are born here on Earth~~~unconscious and conditioned~~~ever seeking to become somebody~~~and so we all become stars~~~in the monkey show. And then? When we reach our mid-thirties~~~there seems to be a chance for a breakthrough~~~when psychologically becoming somebody~~~loses it's luster. Do we all get cleaned up? Do we all let go of our crutches of competition and individuality~~~and personal fame? No. Not in one lifetime~~~for most of us~~~so we keep on coming back~~~and checking into rehab~~~until we kick all the habits~~~of thought~~~and of  self. And how many times to we have to go to rehab~~~it's my guess we keep on coming back~~~until~~~we see the timeless light~~~leaving the individualistic self behind~~~and embrace~~~The One :)

25 Years Ago Today

Hitler Masturbating

It was 25 years to the day that I walked out of my management position with Blue Cross Blue Shield of Delaware~~~never to be a corporate flunky again. Sure lost allot of money on that decision~~~and I can't say that my life outside of Corporate America is all what I thought it would be~~~but I turned my back and walked out the door. Management Teams~~~ugh~~~Hitler had a management team too and now the whole impact of all the corporate management teams of the world has destroyed the ecological balance of the planet~~~wiping out many human values and species alike~~~that had a place on this earth. Wiping out people's savings and investments and morgages and jobs and now The Gulf of Mexico. I'm glad that I washed my hands of it~~~but really~~~my life had no effect upon this descration of life. Such is the nature of Maya~~~impermanence~~~the illusions of this world.

Biggest American Ecological Diaster?

When Columbus sailed into The West Indies.

The Way We Live Is Insane~ & this great TV Show documented it~~THE WIRE - 100 Greatest Quotes (spoilers)

Psychic Bubbles

Today is the 6th of May 2010 and these days we're all aware of The Housing Bubble and The Financial Bubble and even remember The High Tech Bubble of some ten years ago. Bubbles, and what is it about bubbles? Even the literal ones that float through the air on a mid-summers day? It isn't a long journey before they pop~~~and disappear.

Bubbles are inflated by hot air or true belief and there's not much difference between the two~~~and their illusions only last for so long. They are houses built on sand. Bubbles can never stand up to the test of reality for very long. They exist only as long as the surface tension holds them together~~~or the tension involved within a network of false belief~~~take your pick.

Political and Religious Cults are living within bubbles too. Psychic Bubbles. It is True Belief of a spiritual kind that is The Best Drug of All~~~and when these bubbles pop civilizations fall and cultures disintegrate. The essential duality of the universe that we live in provides a tapestry that allows maya and illusion to flourish~~~with many thanks due to thought and it's limitations. Yeah we can live the lie~~~but only for so long. That's the beauty of it~~~death always brings us back to reality.

So creation is all about bubbles~~~even the universe of which we are a part~~~is an expanding bubble. Becoming somebody is a bubble~~~for some day if you live long enough to have Willard Scott say look who's 100 years old today~~~he probably won't mention what you did for a living~~~but that you like prunes in the morning~~~or something like that.

What is the basis for bubbles? Even though they are temporary~~~they do exist for a short while. Is it greed? Ambition? Stinking thinking? False Hope? Or just a very long Hail Mary Pass? But? Maybe bubbles are memories of the way things used to be? Reminders of where we came from? Harbingers of a reality of where we used to be? So what is real and what's illusion? One thing is for sure around here though~~~bubbles exist within the consciousness of all of us~~~it's just who we are~~~none of us gets it all right~~~and the bigger and deeper the bubble~~~the bigger the pop.

Open The Doors and See All The People

Log Community Meeting circa 1976

The Other Side of The Red Door

The two little guys in the center of this picture are David Nodar~~~on the left with the beard~~~and Steven B. Clark~~~on the right with the shiny head and glasses~~~they respectively were the overall leaders of The Lamb of God of Timonium, Maryland and The Word of God of Ann Arbor, Michigan. Both were, and I suppose that they still are~~~big believers in something that doesn't exist~~~Spiritual Authority~~~and it was their personal ambition that consumed many a spiritual pilgrim along the way~~~and led to many an untold Shakespearean Tragedy in the lives that their political powers touched. All that they built imploded and collapsed around them~~~although they both probably got out of it all with a pretty big hit from the money machine. So much for being the spiritual men of God they took themselves to be~~~they ended up looking like a couple of bumbling Spiritual Idiots. I wouldn't want to be around when death brings them face to face with reality~~~because it's probably gonna be pretty messy scene~~~but I would like to know the ending to the story that I was once part of as I got kicked out of The Lamb of God in the fall of 1978 when I was labeled a Son of Satan and a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing come to deceive and lead the flock astray during my last prayer meeting~~~and always wondered what the horror of the end of days of LOG was like. Damn~~~I missed The Ending.

The Lamb of God, Inc. 1972-1991 RIP

Saint Joe's Parish Hall

Texas, Maryland

Years later, reflecting on our experiences in The Cult, my friend Michael Miller put it to me this way~~~when you walked through That Door, the red one pictured above~~~it was like entering a different world. What happened to me when I joined LOG and that door figuratively closed behind me? Cutting me off from the outside world? Making that world my only world? LOG became my own personal and spiritual Plato's Cave. It's where I learned the ways of the world, the inadequacies of power, and personally it's as far from The Truth as I ever got in this lifetime. I passed Through The Looking Glass when I joined The Lamb of God Charismatic Christian Community~~~especially when I began to believe that a hundred or so twenty somethings had been singled out in a special way to do a special thing by God Himself~~~over the other six billion people on the planet. I believed that LOG had been anointed and set apart to do a new and special thing and that we knew something that everyone else didn't. We had to be better than all the rest because of this~~~our esoteric relationship with God~~~LOG was the best. Me? I was as crazy as a bat outta hell for even considering thinking such a thing~~~but after about a year or so of imbibing this mantra day after day I was sold on it. I believed. I bought the ticket~~~and took the ride.

Hey Mike This Guy Has A Plan To Beat You

Yeah everybody has a plan until they get hit in the face.

Mike Tyson

The Invasion of The Corporate Bodysnatchers

The Poet Charles Bukowski

Joining and allegiance. Power and control. Becoming and reward. Success and recognition. This is the ebb and flow of worldly life as played out within our human organizations. Give this and you'll get that. All within the well worn manufactured paths of production, for it's all about doing, not being. Groups are the temporal ground of this world into which our psychic roots grow. What I do is who I am, this is becomings illusory identity. Maya. Any group you join is fertile ground for thoughts illusions, spawning many a Plato's Cave and untold Shakespearean Tragedies, but society's fires seem to give us comfort and security from the darkness that surrounds us. So we accept the good with the bad, put on our masks, and go to work. We do our jobs. We don't want to die in the night.

So why do we live the corporate life? It's where the money is.

It's survival of the fittest. I got mine so you get yours. Survival is the core mission of every corporate endeavor and the basest of all values. Us or them. Kill or be killed. The impunity with which corporate multinationals have raped indigenous peoples, ethnic groups, individuals, towns, cities, states, the American middle class, third world countries, and even the earth itself over the last few centuries reveals the extent of their values. Values? They don't need no stinking values, for corporate social responsibility is pure fiction. Sure they fund a few charities with golf tournaments and such, but that's just sheep's clothing to hide the teeth of devouring wolves. Advertising's con game. The corporate world is responsible for The Sixth Great Extinction of Species, the one going on now, what they call Global Warming. Do you see them doing anything of significance about what they have done?

So there he is. Some guy in a three piece suit at the airport staring into his laptop, face aglow. He believed what they told him and so divided his world. He's put the blinders on and doesn't look up to see the people around him. Money and function determine his judgements and limit his vision. No one he loves is near. The flashing screen seems to be all that he is. Conditioned by the superficial, he's a hollow man. There just isn't much to him. Day by day, moment by moment, he walks the line. Conforms to the norms. Doesn't rock the boat. Never is free to ask himself the big questions. What a waste, committing psychological suicide for money.

Is it responsibility that drives him? Fear? Greed? Observing ambition is like watching a fat person attack a big plate of juicy spare ribs, all hot off the grill. It's not a pretty thing to watch. The plastic values, plywood dreams, and cardboard personalities are what modern society have produced. Our lives, and all the life around us, is diminished as the world is being destroyed by bureaucrats. No bang, just a whimper.

Bukowski used to look out of his window at his neighbors returning home from work, their faces so twisted by the horror that they looked worse than any ghoulish Halloween mask. Good old Bukowski, there wasn't a corporate bone in his body.

Life's Reflections

Like Old Narcissus here~~~we surely like to smell our own piss when we're young don't we? Oh it's very hard to see beyond your own nose when life is so 'a hot and poppin' with the wild electric energy of youth~~~all about becoming~~~your beloved you. And then as you grow a little older~~~expected to carry your own weight and produce something of value~~~becoming centers on what you do and the role you play~~~to turn that something~~~into as much money as possible. Becoming is a tough nut to crack~~~but Death does the trick. Only in confronting our own mortality do we sober up and see~~~something different~~~in the mirror.