Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts

Sunday, April 17, 2016

~~~~~~~Writing Eveyman~~~~~~~




This was my spot
536 Kathryn Street
Santa Fe, New Mexico
where in my 40s
I did most of my writing

my apartment was nicknamed
The Hovel
and on weekdays
surrounding my job
as Bellman at The Radisson
I wrote

on weekends I was Uncle Plaything
to my niece and nephew
sweet days 1993 to 1999
unraveling my consciousness
of things that once were

it is
what it was 

Monday, July 7, 2014

~~~~~~~Walking In The Spirit~~~~~~~

 
 
The man of Tao acts without impediment,
He harms no other being by his actions,
Yet he does not know himself
to be kind and gentle.

He does not struggle to make money...
And he does not make a virtue of poverty.

He goes without relying on others,
And does not pride himself
on walking alone.

The man of Tao remains unknown.
Perfect virtue produces nothing.
No Self is True Self.
And the greatest man is nobody.

 Chuang Tzu

Friday, July 4, 2014

Samadhi #2~~~Chamisal, NM~~~Last 2 Weeks of June~~~2014

 
 
 
In terms of our extended conversation, here is what Yogananda has to say about it all:
"“Just as most people on earth have not learned through meditation-acquired vision to appreciate the superior joys and advantages of astral life and thus, after death, desire to return to the limited, imperfect pleasures of earth, so many astral beings, during the normal disintegration of their astral bodies, fa...il to picture the advanced state of spiritual joy in the causal world and, dwelling on thoughts of the more gross and gaudy astral happiness, yearn to revisit the astral paradise. Heavy astral karma must be redeemed by such beings before they can achieve after astral death a permanent stay in the causal thought-world, so thinly partitioned from the Creator.

“Only when a being has no further desires for experiences in the pleasing-to-the-eye astral cosmos, and cannot be tempted to go back there, does he remain in the causal world. Completing there the work of redeeming all causal karma or seeds of past desires, the confined soul thrusts out the last of the three corks of ignorance and, emerging from the final jar of the causal body, commingles with the Eternal."
 




To surmount maya was the task assigned to the human race by the millennial prophets. To rise above the duality of creation and perceive the unity of the Creator was conceived of as man’s highest goal. Those who cling to the cosmic illusion must accept its essential law of polarity: flow and ebb, rise and fall, day and night, pleasure and pain, good and evil, birth and death. This cyclic pattern assumes a certain anguishing monotony, after man has gone through a few thousand human births; he begins to cast a hopeful eye beyond the compulsions of maya.
 
Osho's 10 Commandments:
 
 1. Never obey anyone's command unless it is coming from within you.
2. There is no God other than life itself.
3. Truth is within you, do not search for it elsewhere.

4. Love is prayer.
5.To become a nothingness is the door to truth. Nothingness itself is the means, the goal and attainment.
6. Life is now and here.
7. Live wakefully.
8. Do not swim—float.
9. Die each moment so that you can be new each moment.
10 .Do not search. That which is, is. Stop and see.
 
 
 
Samadhi #1~~~Monterey, CA~~~!st 2 Weeks of March 2014

"If there is no continuity what is there? There is nothing. One is afraid to be nothing. Nothing means not a thing - nothing put together by thought, nothing put together by memory, remembrances, nothing that you can put into words and then measure. There is most certainly, definitely, an area where the past doesn't cast a shadow, where time, the past or the future or the present, has no meaning. ...We have always tried to measure with words something that we don't know. What we do not know we try to understand and give it words and make it into a continuous noise. And so we clog our brain which is already clogged with past vents, experiences, knowledge. We think knowledge is psychologically of great importance, but it is not. You can't ascend through knowledge; there must be an end to knowledge for the new to be. New is a word for something which has never been before. And that area cannot be understood or grasped by words or symbols: it is there beyond all remembrances."
Jiddu Krishnamurti


"I see the cruelties - the big fish eating the little fish, one animal living on the flesh of another, life fighting life, the horrors of poverty and disease. I say, "Lord, this is YOUR show. So be it. But I do not care to be a part of it, except to do Your will. As quickly as I can, I shall do your work and get out of this play of Yours; but I want to take others also away from this delusive drama of comedies and nightmares."
Paramhansa Yogananda

Saturday, December 28, 2013

~~~~~~~The Whole Truth~~~~~~~

 
"I am" alone is; and not "I am so and so", or "I am such and such". When existence is absolute it is right; when it is particularised it is wrong. That is the whole truth.

~ Sri Ramana Maharshi

...from "Talk 363"; 20th February, 1937

Friday, December 20, 2013

~~~Who Can Lead Us Out Of This Mess We're In?~~~

  
 
   Society is not changed by example. Society may reform itself, it may bring about certain changes through political or economic revolution, but only the religious man can create a fundamental transformation in society; and the religious man is not he who practices starvation as an example to impress society. The religious man is not concerned with society at all, because society is based on acquisitiveness, envy, greed, ambition, fear. That is, mere reformation of the pattern of society only alters the surface, it brings about a more respectable form of ambition. Whereas, the truly religious man is totally outside of society, because he is not ambitious, he has no envy, he is not following any ritual, dogma or belief; and it is only such a man who can fundamentally transform society, not the reformer. The man who sets out to be an example merely breeds conflict, strengthens fear, and brings about various forms of tyranny.
   It is very strange how we worship examples, idols. We don't want that which is pure, true in itself; we want interpreters, examples, masters, gurus, as a medium through which to attain something - which is all sheer nonsense, and is used to exploit people. If each one of us could think clearly from the very beginning, or re-educate ourselves to think clearly, then all these examples, masters, gurus, systems, would be absolutely unnecessary, which they are anyhow.
         
   Madras, India | 2nd Public Talk 15th January 1956

Monday, November 11, 2013

~~~~What's Our Problem?~~~~~~~

 "Relationship is our problem, and not the idea about relationship not at any one particular level but at all the levels of our existence."
 
 
    Jiddu Krishnamurti

Sunday, November 3, 2013

~~~~~~~~~~~~Camping Out~~~~~~~~~~~~

   My brother & I had psychic experiences, he the participant & I the observer, at the tail-end of the '60s, particularly during the year 1971; therefore, since the age of 21, I intuited that this world was only a derivitive one, and all of my personnas since, the psychological clothes we wear, were woven of my past spiritual experiences. The essence of all these was an adaptation of Hunter S Thompson's gonzo journalism & acid visions of society. My identity was seperate from my culture, and I tried on many sets of psychic clothing to wear, many lifetimes in one. Middle class suburbean TV Generation: High School to College. LSD Hippie Dropout. Fundamental Christianity reborn on a college campus and exorcised upon being kicked out of a cult. Healthcare Corporate Management Type. Taxi driver. Ski bum. Golf bum. Now? Old guy. you know, someone who has been many things.
   These days I just try to see things as they actually are, but thought is thought, and image only illusion. I guess it doesn't depress me, too much, the seemingly inate violence of this world, because all the clothed that I have worn are now in tatters. Isn't it sad when your favorites wear out? But this world is not all that there is it is, there are other ones, and I trust in the spirit like a little child to clothe me while I am still here. We're all just camping out here you know? One fine day we all will strike tent and head home.
 
 No grand plan here anymore. No flow charts. No Theory of Everything. Not even a 'teaching' like Jiddu Krishnamurti and Ekhart Tolle have each come up with, although, I enjoy meditating upon both of their 'teachings' I deal with all  of the evils and negativity this life dishes out by accepting it, as  duality is necessary to what's going on here. I used to try and blot it out with ideals & meaning & stuff like that, angry at the evils within this world, the darkness of our selves, reflected in society, as most of what I have written were words spit out in anger at the seeming injustice of  it all.
 
   Plato's Cave Metaphor is the great grand-daddy of all spiritual metaphors. DNA and sociological/racial conditioning trap each of us into the roles we play in this Shakespearean Drama we call being human Some get it good. Most not so good. Every twist & turn of  human lifes plots covered as mankind as a whole gets it everyway it can be gotten. Many mirrors in the prism. Many observers to the double-slit experiment, as we're all a bit skewed in our perceptions, to some degree or another.
 
   The Life Within Us All, that supports us and all of this, is Truth, not skewed in any way, and that is why I look at the evils within this world and don't hide from them anymore, or get angry. I just look in wonder. That could be me. What's that guy up to? I'm glad that death is an integral part of this life, not a bad thing, for death is like Life's Alarm Clock. When death comes it lets you know that you were always just camping out here anyway, and now it's time to head home.
 
   But now? While I'm here? I want to see things as they are, and that requires a death of sorts, while still living. No self. No observer. All of  the synchronicity you see in nature when you are not there, timeless, in the moment, clothed in an ever-expanding and ever-new wineskin. The choiceless awareness of the spiritual winds that are ever-moving through our lives. Having the eyes to see is not a constant reality in my life, for it comes, then it goes, always of it's own volition. very personal, but I have no control over it. Sometimes I'm out of the cave basking in the timeless sunlight. Sometimes I'm sitting in the darkness trying to figure out what those dancing and flickering shadows on the electronic cave wall are doing. Sometimes there. Sometimes not. Camping out, being human, doesn't seem to allow for all the comforts of home.
 
   Who knows? Is this personal relationship with our creator real? Or is all this personal stuff just an illusion of mine born of my christian days? It's one thing for sure that the timeless has a hard time establishing itself in time, that is, in human consciousness. The Life is everywhere, but mankind can't seem to bottle it. Abstract it? Yes. But grasp it? Hold onto it? Control it? Organize it so that it is always available through belief and religion? No. Thought, like all the psychological clothing that we wear, can not touch upon Life's reality, for thought is only a substitute, an abstraction, something that is not The Life. The Life? That is only there when we are not. Old wineskins can't hold new wine. What a strange and paradoxical world we live in where we must cease to be for The Life to flow.
 
   The Life touches and sustains all that there is, but where is it's source?
   Are we all just camping out here?
   Is this all just a dream?
 
   Why all the confusion?
   Why all the misery?
   Why all the old wineskins?

  "The ending is the beginning,
    and the begining is the first step,
    and the first step is the only step."
        Jiddu Krishnamurti

   It's a funny world when all the enlightened ones leave it,
   and the beginning,
   The Life,
    walks hand in hand,
   with death.

  

Saturday, October 26, 2013

~~~The Game of Hide & Seek~~~


For those whose minds are constantly expanding, clinging to external objects, factors will always arise causing increasing bondage. If the outward-wandering mind is turned inwards to stay in its natural state, know that one will not undergo any suffering in the world.

Unite with that one totality, which is all-pervasive, which has no inside or outside, which is bereft of all (concept of) directions such as above, below and in between, which assumes all the forms in creation and yet is itself formless, which can be known only by itself, and which is self-luminous.

~ Devikalottara

Monday, October 21, 2013

~~~~~~What Happened To The Knower?~~~~~~

 
 


In Advaita Vedanta, the knower is the last to go. What comes after the knower? Silence! There is nothing else.

Just think how much knowledge you've gathered all these years. Reading so many books. Meditating for years. Seeing so many teachers. Having so many discussions, debates, arguments. Can't you see now this is what's been holding you back? This is what has been holding you back. For you have believed that you're the knower. For you have to become a knower to become free. Yet no one has to know anything for there is absolutely nothing to know. Why is there nothing to know? Because there is only omnipresence, infinity, absolute reality and there is no name for this.

In other words, you cannot know absolute reality. You cannot know pure awareness. As long as there is someone who knows about it, it doesn't exist. It's only when you put an end to knowing that you become the Self. The Self has no shape, no form, no identity. It is no thing. Yet you are that. What are you going to do about it?

~ Robert Adams

...from "The Knower Is The Last To Go!" - January 9th, 1992

Sunday, October 13, 2013

A Christian's Lament

May 31st 1981



A CHRISTIAN'S LAMENT
A WAY OF SEEING LIFE IN THE LAMB OF GOD COMMUNITY

"For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven; in as much as we, having put it on, shall not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed, but to be clothed, in order that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life"...

"The body of my son is broken." Ralph Martin, 1977 CCRCC

It seems to me that the preimminant question in Christiandom should be: is it God, or is it man, who is stretching canvas more and more tightly over the Church, in order to provide a secure covering and tent over her? As Christians, it is always our hope that we are following God and God alone: as David centered on God's presence in the Arc of The Covenant. But David did not build. Are we, as David would have, building prematurely?
To have a heart as the heart of God formed in David: broken, open, stretched before God, open to change--would keep us true to God and His ways. David saw things as God saw things. So much of David was in God, and so much of God was in David, that Jesus revealed to us: "I am the root and offspring of David". But David did not build.
Events and history can give us hints and a sense as to whether or not we have lifted our hands to expedite and anchor the movements of God. In the moment only God knows. But these tents and buildings become and remain as empty shells, as we insinuate our hands into God's work. Only God can judge our hearts as we build, forming them into such as David's. For any movement of God, it takes God to answer questions about them: have they crystalized, or are they vital? All I know is that God has entrusted His spirit to live and move and have His being in each Christian's life. He lives in us.
As a Christian, and as a person, it is my hope to communicate a part of my story to you. True and full communication would take something of the movement of the Spirit of God in the context of a personal dialogue: face to face, from the heart--in respect and love. I'm not saying I know the way. I haven't any corner on truth. I do percieve a gap in our ways of seeing, thus this writing. My intent is not to change your ways to my ways; rather, it is to affirm my Christian life, and the lives of my brothers and sisters, that are not joined to The Lamb of God. It is quite a different perspective. Here, then, is my story...


The sun was setting over 'Five Farms' and the evening was beginning to become pleasantly cool and envigorating for me. I've always loved the natural beauty of the old Jennifer Estate. And on this particular Sunday evening the dew on the fields pleasantly began to moisten my feet as I walked. Envigorating! My feet and flip-flops began to pick up, and be covered with, a proliferation of seeds and grasses. Winter to Spring, Death to Life--and alive again!
The beauty only which God could create, interweave, and sustain in this fallen world. Hope of the eternal! The setting sun, the birds of the air, the beauty of the moment: they all beckon me to thank God and enjoy the gift of this beauty and tranquility. And, even more than all these, to thank him for the person he has formed me to be. I wanted to do these things--to continue to rest in the peace within and without, but this was not why I had come to walk...
So many memories--so long ago. It seems that these days have been set aside to consider my past life and experiences in the Lamb of God. But the more I tried to remember, the further away my former life there seemed. How come? I mean, all the physical clues are here. I seem to need to go back and recapture something. Something I left back there when my life with God seemed shattered, and I couldn't find all the pieces...
Why can't I enter into remembering--and wondering why? I've had times when all the joys and sorrows of those days seemed to implode within my heart, and I could feel the texture of my life then. Nevr times this distant. Going back now seems impossible to me. How come? Seems a bit clearer now...I really can't go back. It's impossible. It's just that I'm not the same person I was when I was joined to the Lamb of God. In fact, to a great extent, I wasn't even a person then. And now I am.
Well, Daphne still remembers me anyway. Funny how she even seems to know how to say goodbye, just before you get in the car. At least something, besides the land, has continuity: is personal and somewhat the same. I used to wander and sleep in these fields with Daphne, and my own confusion, four years ago...
Knowing I'll never figure it all out, I sat on an old wall just behind the main house. Sitting down beats trying to tackle the impossible. Yeah, I remember the main house: center of importance and activity. Had some mistique or something. Well, I've been mentally and physically meandering for fifty minutes and nothing of what I thought would occur has come to be. My hour is shot. Just like God and his timing. In my life, I've come to expect such 'waste'.
I so wanted to touch the person I was then. I can remember becoming a Christian and my early days in the faith in South Carolina. Good memories, even treasures, of those brothers and sisters and my beginning with God. Why is there a shroud over my days in the Lamb of God? The days I thought would bring me into full body life and His Coming Kingdom...
Sometimes it seems such a waste to try to be with God. No use, just be--enjoy the moment. As I began to 'focus in', I started to 'get into' the hedges planted behind the main house. They seem to remind me of something else.
Hedges, all in rows: rooted and intertwined together. They line up to subdivide and section off the backyard. They bring 'order' to the organic 'chaos' of life. The person who landscaped this area did so according to his own vision, judgement, and abilities. Through this particular pattern of hedges he was to give, to all that would enter his yard, what he saw necessary to himself. The hedges expressed his life and desires--were extended to others--but, constrained them to walk according to his vision.




Ought's, should do's, don't, if--then's. That's what these hedges are! The hedges line up pretty straight--and serve as external modifers, channels for movement. They sure serve a purpose. Trouble is what they do to people.
You see, I can envision the ...hedges subsuming the people that walk too closely to them. So often in an attempt to do the right thing, we try so very hard to do things right. The law brings death. The landscaper may even be unaware, as he begins to trim the hedges...
Headship/Submission/Authority: The garden tools needed to trim the hedges back so that continuity and order is formed by their branches. But not only are ways of doing things modified--people are. The people caught up in the hedges. Is it all just a matter of degree? You know, how far to trim the hedges back--or where to let them grow? Don't all the branches, the people, reach for the sun? Who has the right, or the eyes to see, when to cut off a person's autonomy, decision making, and right to have a direct personal relationship with God? Oh God, these are not just hedges being cut back--but people! They needed a covering. They needed to be clothed. If you see yourself naked and longing to be clothed, don't choose the hedge, There's no mercy in the shears. You'll be stunted.
Looking down into the hedge, I can also envision the roots. Roots of covenant and commitment. From these things, the same pattern continues. Dear God, what are these roots doing here? There's no branch coming up from them. Oh God, these people have been cut off completely! Severed at the root. Does the landscapper know what he has done?
I wonder what would happen if the owner showed up one day and said: "Oaks, not hedges. It's oaks I'm after." Will the landscapper be able to hear? What would he then tell the hedges: those cut and bruised, and those cut off? I sure wouldn't want to be in his shoes, the landscapper's, that is.

 



The cross of Christ Jesus Our Lord is the only instrument God has given to us to cut things at their root. But we've been using hedgeclippers. The cross calls for a loss to be suffered, in order that we may lay hold of the greater gain. The loss of the hedgerows would be a loss to the hands that enjoy trimming them, but God needs oaks.



In fact, I can imagine oaks having a better time of getting along with each other, than hedges. If the owner shows up, the landscappers won't have a chance. We'll all be on equal ground. The cross seems to cut us all at the root. No more will the Gospel be added onto, or subtracted from. No more will people be added onto, or subtracted from.
David was cut at the root and became a full orbed man of God. Many of the hedg...es that have been cut off have not experienced the cross, but have experienced hedgeclippers. They left not because they were not spiritual enough, but because they could not become less of a person than God intended them to be. It takes the cross, not hedgeclippers, to get into interior realities. The most special of these interior realities is to accept yourself--to love yourself. even though an imperfect sinner. That's the key to the Kingdom of God. Those landscappers have ripped some people right apart. Wonder what God thinks about that?
You know, the Lamb of God is the sanest, and most insane, place I've ever been. Living together and sharing God's life within us is wonderful. It cleans me out and makes me whole. In this sense, you are joined to me through Christ: you are my brothers and sisters. All Christians have this birthright, God working His life through us organically.
This is, I believe, your preeminent reality and life. I know, for I've shared my life with some of you and love you dearly. But, to some extent, our lives are shrouded from each others...
It seems as if there is an exoskeletal attachment to the Body of Christ in the Lamb of God. The landscappers who try to expedite and firm up the life within us. Providing submission-authority-covenant-commitment, headship tries to configure that life into a functioning body. Christ, our Head in Heaven, would be more than glad to organically work out His designs in us. Will what is mortal be swallowed up by life?
The reality of the Body of Christ, and the insanity of the 'landscappers', are juxtapositioned together. It's hard to see ehere one ends and the other begins. It takes God to 'run that thin white line'. Not to be able to see, to focus, to make distinction and sense; breeds insanity. People have attitudes towards the Lamb of God because they can't see this. Two distinct realities clash in their hearts, and they can't see. All they see are the dead bodies.

I wonder how God feels about all this?






Thursday, December 22, 2011

Saturday, December 17, 2011

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~sum quod eris~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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sum quod eris~~~that's an old latin graveyard phrase meaning: i am what you will be~~~or as Charley would say: dirt :) in spacetime~~~death is at the end of everything. this is a picture of the top of one of the three stone pillars that led into what was The Jennifer Estate in Timonium, Maryland~~~the property that The Lamb of God Christian community bought in 1977 and sold in 1991.....the property is now a development called Pebble Creek. this pillar was erected when the land was a working farm...and as in most things in this life~~~how something ends.....the ending.....is contained in it's.................beginning. it used to define a port of entry....and now it's a gravestone....a historical marker.......of the spiritual life that a small group of people tried to find together.....in the summers of their youth. 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

~~~~~~~~~Flying Dreams~~~~~~~~~


   i've had two~~~flying dreams~~~that i can remember. one was half a lifetime ago when i was 31 years old~~~the other two nights ago. i've named the 1st dream~~~Takeoff~~~and the 2nd~~~Landing, but they might as well have been named~~~Birth and Death. the 1st dream came after escaping from the personal strictures of fundamental christianity~~~and finding my tenuous balance~~~in the spiritual world~~~once again. the dream consisted of finding myself floating above lush green fields scored by rows of trees and streams~~~much like springtime in baltimore county. 1st feelings of apprehension were replaced with a growing trust as i found breath controlled my altitude~~~for as i breathed in i gradually went up~~~and out~~~i gently descended. the dream ended when i landed on my feet near an old stone wall~~~and only slightly turned my ankle. it was a dream of empowerment.
   two nights ago~~~my brother david and i were in a convertible car that was bigger and more powerful than mine~~~and i was driving as dave rode shotgun. something bad was back there and after us and we were on the run~~~as i gunned the car down the pavement that became off road smooth rock~~~and then~~~we were launched into the late afternoon air...
  dave took off and went much higher than me~~~and i found myself wearing an old weightlifters back brace belt that arched my body into a foil shape~~~kinda like the foil shapes of the kites~~~that the guys that ride boards on the ocean with~~~and i was as one of those foil sails that pull them. below us was southwestern desert~~~with rocks and cacti~~~and dave descended as i arched my back and rose higher. he was wearing that gray flannel hat of his and a clint eastwood poncho as he hit shoulder 1st into cacti and a rock shelf~~~and at impact his legs came up so that i saw his tennis shoes. he hit slow enough that i knew he survived~~~and was probably cussin' up a storm'.
   he was 1500 feet or so below me and i knew that i could not get down near him as my foil shape kept me too high aloft~~~and i was being pushed westward by the wind. spotty fog began to cover the ground~~~and i could see the light was fading~~~and the fog thick~~~where i was heading. no way to tell what was below the fog~~~the lay of the land~~~or water. whatever it was~~~i was headed there~~~and then? i woke up.