~~~~~~~~A Sower Went Out To Sow~~~~~~~~

   There are only two disappointments in this life: the first is when you don't get what you want, and the second is when you do.

   How can I live a life of fulfillment, when the most important thing that exists in all of creation, the creator.....seems....abscent? Looking for life in the things of this world, in their pleasures, always trapped in the realm of beginnings and endings? Sex? Power? Position? Knowledge? Always seeking the timeless in the dreamworld of time? Lost in illusions? Wandering through impermanence? I explored what society, mankind, had to offer. Limited by my conditioning, I had not the eyes to see.

   When you try, and fail, it's like Dylan's lyrics in Love Minus Zero/No Limit: "There's no success like failure and failure's no success at all." Negation, it's the way I navigated through the illusions of this life, on my spiritual pilgrimage, and every path that I took in the end reached a dead end. Failure? Negation? Dead Ends?  What good could spring from such a meandering life?

   Questions. I started asking God questions. Not with my head, full of images, but with my broken heart, and these questions were the seeds that a sower went out to sow. Honest questions born within personal brokeness. Genuine questions, holding out no hope of becoming anything at all. Questions that abandoned all paths, even myself, and most of these questions were a simple one.....why?

   Seeds in fertile ground, watered by the spiritual rains, nurtured by timeless love, the answers to my questions were born in their due season. Never as I expected, always new, of their own accord, and nature. And what fruit was born of all this? Only, trust in the life that sustains me, like a little child, and thankfulness, for all that I have been given.

  It's an impermanent, and violent, dreamworld we live in. All stocked up with maya. Born into it, the darkness of the abstract image. the sterility of thought, we are blind to the timeless. Born into Plato's Cave, we enter a realm where God seems to play Hide and Seek, and we have not the ability to find our way out, or our way home.

  Cosmic Consciousness? Enlightenment? Spiritual Ambition? How can you say you've become somebody when in the end you're not there?  When you see that everything's alive? That you are That? That the knower, the seeker, was always an illusion, and that God was hiding in the place we never expected God to be....inside us all....inside of everything?

  A sower went out to sow, we all ask the same questions and the difference in our answers springs from their source, as the life that asks them, also answers them.

   Thou Art That. 

The Great American Spiritual Desert

Goddamn Bats

WHEN THE GOING GETS WEIRD, THE WEIRD TURN PRO
And that, I think, was the handle-that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of old and evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark-that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.

from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson

Hunter called Las Vegas~~~The Savage Heart of The American Dream~~~and so it is, but The Real American Dream died and was buried a long time ago~~~as most of her remains are scattered about the grounds and rolling hills of Robert E. Lee's old homestead~~~aka~~~Arlington National Cemetery. American Mythology? She's embalmed in all manner of smiley faces~~~locked behind the corporate gates~~~of Disneyland. America's had a tough time of it~~~we haven't had a good spiritual rain since The '60s~~~and the drought has startlingly revealed some very ugly characters. George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Sarah Palin~~~cardboard people with plastic values~~~Christ I don't even wanna' take the time to name them all. Drought takes it's toll. The character of people that America has produced has reached another low tide. Rabid Fundamentalism~~~a 'kin to that ole Manifest Destiny that 'et up most of the original Americans and their buffalo~~~is a viral infection in merica's thinkin'. There are a lot of Spiritual Idjiots on the loose these days~~~all 'a thinkin' that they can't be wrong 'cause God is on their side. Holy Smokin' Jesus~~~I wish that Hunter had lived to see this crazy-assed party we're having here on Desolation Row~~~or maybe it's Highway 61~~~I don't know~~~maybe Dylan does.